On Overcoming Perfectionism.
Greetings, wanderers.
As mentioned in my last post, I am suffering from an overwhelming and ongoing case of perfectionism. Its symptoms are writing slumps, irritability, and severe self-doubt. However, through years of dealing with perfectionism, I have discovered a few ways to ease those symptoms. And while the cure still evades me (although I suspect it may be a thorny plant of some kind), these methods ease the symptoms to the extent that I once wrote a short story beginning to end in one sitting. Here I will impart five scraps of knowledge to you in hopes that they may perhaps aid you on your journey to becoming an eccentric writer.
1. Write late at night.
The practice of midnight writing is one that every writer should follow. There's something about being tired that takes away the voice in your head telling you that your writing isn't good enough. I have written more freely in the moments before I fall asleep than I ever do at any other time of day. Your brain is preoccupied with keeping you awake, so it doesn't have the time or energy to berate you with criticism. I also find that writing in darkness helps with flow, as it eliminates visual distractions.
One habit that is especially helpful is taking note of your most nonsensical thoughts as you are falling asleep or if you wake up in the middle of the night. This is the purest form of thinking, because you are accessing your subconscious. However, you won't remember any of it when you wake up the next day. That's why it's important to scribble down those thoughts. Nine times out of ten, fully-awake you will not know what in heaven's name you meant the night before, but occasionally, you'll find some gold.
Once, I wrote an entire short story based on my nonsensical subconscious thoughts, so it's definitely worth a try. It may be a practice that is easier for night owls, but speaking as a non-night owl, you can still do this even if you love getting your full eight hours. Just take a few minutes before bedtime to jot down a few thoughts, ideas, or lines, and let your morning self discover them when you wake up.
2. Change your space.
I find that something as simple as trying out a new area to write can greatly affect my ability to have an uninterrupted writing session. Some need constant change to keep themselves engaged, some prefer a fixed routine. Regardless of what your preference is, you should experiment to find what works best for you.
I fall somewhat in between categories. I enjoy trying new things, but there are conditions I greatly prefer. As I said before, I have discovered that I enjoy writing in dark rooms. I also have scraps of paper with quotes or sayings that inspire me, and I like to lay those out in front of me when I'm writing.
You can have a consistent aesthetic, or not. My writing desk has dried leaves, vintage trinkets, and Funko Pops. But if you feel like the only way for you to access your creativity is to go full Wuthering Heights, by all means, turn your writing room into a haunted garret. Change your clothes. Hang pictures on the walls. Build a pillow fort. Control your surroundings so they help you focus instead of distracting you from the glorious task of putting words on the page.
3. Get a support group.
You must find a group of people to share your journey with you. Something very important happens when you surround yourself with other writers.
You realize you are not alone.
You realize that there are, in fact, other people in the world who can stare at a blank page for hours on end and not write one singular word. You realize that you are, in fact, not a complete failure. The truth is, writers all have the same issues. None of us is really that unique as far as our struggles. But the little voices (or sometimes, very big voices) in our heads tell us that we are the only one who has had trouble getting a sentence right.
Having a writing group has other benefits as well. You can bounce ideas off of others who will have helpful and constructive criticism. I have shared ideas with friends who are writers and friends who are not, and the advice is always better coming from a fellow writer. Serious writers are usually generous with their opinions, I've had some amazing breakthroughs by discussing my stories with writer friends.
4. Do something that bothers you on purpose.
In general, I don't care a lot about organization. But when I become invested in putting a system in place, there's a switch that's flipped in my brain that tells me I have to follow that system. If I make a mistake, I feel like I can't even move forward. To help remedy this, I wrote a short story beginning to end, and I did not set one single rule for myself. Normally, if I think of a word and a synonym for it, I sit doing nothing for minutes at a time trying to decide which one is better, for the sake of making the page clean or aesthetically pleasing or some nonsense. This time, if I thought of multiple words or multiple ways of phrasing a sentence, I simply wrote down every version that came to mind as part of the same sentence.
Anyone else reading that draft of the story would have an incredibly difficult time deciphering it, but it doesn't matter. Because the first draft is for your eyes only. Perfectionism is crippling if it comes early in the process. When you're revising, mull over the words and take time to make it the best it can be. But when you're writing that initial draft? No one will see it but you. So let it be a mess. It's hard, but being intentional about letting go of whatever system you have in place for first drafts is genuinely helpful. In the long run, writing a lot of mediocre content is far better for your confidence than only a little really good content. Speaking from experience, having a high word count at the end of the day feels like a huge accomplishment, while looking back on a low word count is without fail discouraging.
5. Just write something.
To build on the previous point, there is nothing like achievement to prove to yourself that while you are not perfect, you are more than good enough. Just getting something written down is an instant confidence booster. My favorite thing to do when I'm in a slump is to write a poem. Poems can be as quick and easy as you want them to be, and these days, they have absolutely no rules. (These days, they don't even have to be good, and many of them aren't. But that's a topic for another time.)
Something that works for me is using pencil/pen and paper to write instead of a laptop or phone. You may prefer this, you may not. But if you haven't tried it, do it next time you write. It may seem slower than typing, but I find that my thoughts flow more easily when I'm working with the physical over the digital, which helps with long-term productivity. I also love the satisfaction of seeing a stack of paper build up over time. It's a different feeling from seeing your word or page count display as a number on a screen. I love riffling through the pages, squaring them, or laying them out in front of me. Writing has a snowball effect. If you start, you will gain momentum until you are the unstoppable bottom layer of a giant snowman.
While I find these five methods incredibly useful, remember that overcoming perfectionism is an ongoing journey that will have ups and downs. This is not a magic formula to become the best writer in the world. Writing is hard. Writing is work. The best advice I can give is put in the work and you will get results. The recommendations mentioned above are simply ways to make it come somewhat faster and easier. Take them, leave them, make them your own.
Go out and write your story.
"Courage, dear heart."
C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
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